I wish I cared less: The Art of letting life be

  

When I was in school, I feared public speaking to death because I was not well versed in English. Most of the time I didn't get a chance to speak because our class was so large. But when nothing else worked out, I had to speak.

Things often got worse. I worried like hell. I could not focus on other things for the time being. Along with this, another matter of concern was “my image”. If I fumbled or couldn't speak well, how would I face my teachers and classmates?

Now I wonder, what a stupid person I was? How under confident I was? I worried about the things that are just a cakewalk for most of you and for me now. 

What if I had been a little more confident? How much stress could I have avoided in my childhood? 

Now I understand that it was all in my imagination ... .Instead of worrying, I could have focused on improving my English speaking. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and speak the way I do today? But, I know I can't. As the time and that platform already passed. 

The story of worry and overthinking often travels with us like our best friend throughout our lives.

When my whole family relocated to the capital city, things terrified me to death once again. Questions arose, such as: how will I survive there in a close,compact space? How will I communicate with my college mates? Was I once again not good enough at carrying myself? How will I survive in the new city, new life, new people and new way of living? Even though we moved to the big city, I will always be a small town girl in my heart. 

Now, that time has also passed. It has been more than a decade here. I even like this city more than my hometown. I enjoy the fast-paced nature of the city, its vibe, and its diverse food has become my thing. 

If I had known this earlier… I might not have been terrified of a new city and a new life. I could have been more carefree in my teens. But, as a human being, having too much care and worry was in our blood. Because I had only seen my parents act this way. 

Drop your assumptions and find your peace

The next big nightmare that awaited me was not getting the right job at the right time. Though I studied hard, I even got a chance with pretty good pay. But I was overconfident. I used to think I would get a more powerful and respectable job. 

In the end, I couldn't make it and was left with nothing. This was the biggest nightmare of my life. As my parents' aspirations are also attached to my job. I worried so much that I forgot who I was. I don't know when my days and nights turned into complete darkness. For more than three months, I spent my whole days crying and cursing myself for not being able to make it. 

But again, this phase also passed. Or rather, I would say it made me more of an explorer and more creative. That's why I am here today. Sometimes, leaving with nothing is the best thing that can happen to you, because only then you explore the available opportunities and make the best of yourself.

After this, one thing I realized clearly is that… I am strong enough to face anything in life. By worrying, I will only torture myself? Since then I have started to shift my thinking towards worrying less, even though I know I still have so many mountains to conquer. 

These are some of the stories I have carried for a long time, there are many more… but I hope you get the lesson. 

I suffer because I rushed things and because I made a castle out of my minuscule problems, while it was just a tiny hole. 

Over a period of time, I realized that things will fall into place, we just need to be more patient with life, as it has its own pace. Let life unfold in its own way. 

But I also think that saying this is always easier than following it during adverse times in life. 

This is because, when adversity strikes us our lessons run out as soon as fuel in our vehicle. Instead of analyzing the bigger picture of adversity, we think as if it is the end of our world. We get trapped again in the same loop of worrying and fearing our discomfort. I know this has happened to you all. I know that when problems strike us, the first question that strikes our mind is… 

“Oh my God, why is it me again? 

Why does it happen to me? 

How will I tackle this? 

Am I not good enough?”

Instead of focusing on solutions or seeing the opportunity beyond that adversity, it feels next to impossible to see clearly, because we are so engulfed by the issue. The universe rewards us based on what we focus, the more we dwell on a problem, the more we attract it. 

We think it is our birth right to worry about everything that happens in our lives. We tend to dissect our problems very deeply and consciously. 

Whereas our focus should technically be on the solutions. Unfortunately, we say goodbye to solutions in our minds far too early. 

Beware what you carry on your shoulders

We know our mind's abilities and capability are limited, yet we still waste too much time worrying and stressing over things. This happened to all of us.

Now I follow one simple rule to overcome the problem of worrying and too much caring in my life. 

In difficult times, I whisper these words to my heart and to my mind:

“I know with time everything will be fine. I will become better than my past version. I know I am able to handle anything that life has for me, despite how hard I have to try. I'll condition myself to see the big picture. I’d rather focus on the solution to adversity. I trust the process.”

In the end one sentence I whisper to myself is, “ I wish I could have cared less in life.”

Life lessons you wish you would have learned sooner