Suffering to Self Discovery: Finding Yourself Through Life's Challenges

“ Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning”.

                        Victor E. Frankl

We all are living in different countries, belonging to different ethnicities, speaking different languages, pursuing different goals. But, one thing quite common to all of us is “suffering”. 

Why is that so? 

Suffering is inevitable in our life, irrespective of the region, nation and wealth.

 Suffering is caused by a diverse set of phenomena. 

Most of the time it is caused by the difference between “what is happening in our lives vs what we have decided for ourselves”.

This difference is not as easy as it seems to be. It kills us from inside and causes immense suffering. 

We all can relate to this… How do we feel? When our dreams are crushed? 

In contrast to this.... Sometimes it became a life changing event. Which completely transforms our lives, as it taught us some of the important life lessons. Put us on the path of self discovery. 

But this is not an easy transformation. Sometimes we have to go through the worst to become the best. 

To simplify this transformation I am writing this blog, so you can find meaning of life through challenges. 

For this transformation from suffering to self discovery, first we need to dig deeper to find out what are some of the common causes of suffering in our lives? 

As per my understanding… common causes of suffering are.. 

1.Our Fears

Fears are nothing but self made worst case scenarios about life's unfortunate. Fear of losing our dear ones, fear of failure, fear of losing a job Or bankruptcy etc. These are some of the most common fears. For example AI automation causing layoffs, job losses.

 This is one of the key reasons for suffering in tier 1 countries in the modern day context. 

Sometimes our fears come true sometimes not… but the suffering they caused is pretty much real. 

2. Reluctance in Acceptance

Whatever happens in our lives is not 100% the result of our actions. Sometimes things happen. But we are built or raised in a way that we blame ourselves for everything. 

We just can't accept these things. Their unfolding in an uncertain way becomes the cause of suffering for us. 

 Instead of acceptance, we refuse to forgo and continue to suffer. Reluctance in acceptance is like we are resisting against ourselves rather than any external events or situation. 

3. Overthinking loop

“ We suffer more in our imagination than in reality “.

                                        Seneca

Overthinking causes us to live more in our head than in reality. We keep analysing the things in our head. Which may not have any linkages to the real world. 

This becomes one of the main causes of suffering especially with the old age generations. Overthinking kills our “presence of mind” and keeps us in a “loop of suffering”.

4. Technological Advancement

Sometimes our boon becomes bane. The more advancement we attain for the progress of humanity, the more it proved to be deadly. For example social media tools. 

Social media causes new kinds of suffering like FOMO, mental health and depression, inferiority complexes etc.

Though, it enhances our engagement with our loved ones and blurs the physical boundaries. But nowadays it becomes poison, which slowly killing us by silent suffering.

It leads to comparison…which reduces our worth in our own eyes and causes us to suffer.

It also causes distraction, reduces focus and negative impact on studies, career growth causes further suffering. 

5.Physical Suffering

Physical suffering in our lives mostly owes to disease, natural disasters and accidents. This causes physical pain, which also paves the way for suffering. 

At last suffering is suffering, whether it is physical or mental. 

But, we don't realize suffering can be the source of self discovery. It not only breaks but builds us. It can transform our pain into purpose. 

This transformation makes us the best version of ourselves and gives us strength to face any difficulties in life.        

How suffering transformed into self discovery

 Suffering taught us to accept the circumstances

Where you are, what you are doing, what you have lost, who ever leaves you, what weakness you have … suffering taught us to accept and move forward. 

Acceptance is like settling scores with ourselves. Once you settled.. It brings stillness in life. Stillness means living in the present moment and you become free from suffering. 

Acceptance clears your path for self discovery. And it happens only when you realize the teaching behind your suffering. When you see suffering like a teacher rather than a problem. It automates your journey on a self discovery path. 

Redefine our Identity

Redefining identities means suffering often transforms a person into a completely different person. People see a new version of themselves after suffering. 

How did this happen?

Suffering brings struggles, forces us to try new things, learn new skills and more importantly it pulls us out of our comfort zone. From where the real growth happens. 

This makes us successful in whichever field we are pursuing our goals. Along with this it pushes our limits of patience, hard work, exploration etc. 

Ultimately, it transforms us into a new and upgraded version of ourselves. 

Reduce unnecessary distraction

When suffering enters into our lives. Our sole motive is to eliminate suffering. We dig deeper into the different possibilities, and get busy in analyzing the outcomes of different actions. 

Here, one thing you notice is that your complete focus shifts towards solving the issue rather than sitting and crying over or involved in non productive activities. For example doom scrolling, fighting or being involved in the matters of others. 

Self Awareness

We often analyze others, make comments, point out their mistakes and advise them, what should they do? Or how they should live their lives. We know others very well. 

But, when it comes to our own self, we become skeptical. We don't know ourselves well. Because we never took any conscious effort to look at our inner self. We don't know our own strength and weakness, our interests. 

Here comes the role of suffering which leaves us no other choice but to become self aware. 

We learn to process, regulate and manage our emotions. This strengthens our emotional intelligence. Which is one of the key pillars to self discovery. 

Motivation

When suffering knocks on our doors. At first we found it difficult to cope with it. But, still we start to look for solutions. For this we move our hands and legs in all directions and find a way to eliminate it from our lives. 

Over time we become pro to it. We are no longer afraid of suffering. 

This gives us motivation to find a way out in tough times. Thus, suffering transforms us into a confident and motivated person, who has abilities to overcome any challenge in life. 

This is how life lessons force us to discover ourselves. 

Bring Mindfulness

Suffering not only declutters our mind, but also teaches the importance of mindful living. 

By suffering we understand that mindfulness is the key to transform our suffering into self discovery. 

It brings mental clarity. Put us on the path of reflection rather than reaction.  

We start to analyze our thoughts and actions from the point of view of mindful living. It restricts the path of disruptions and filters out the garbage from our minds 

Hence, suffering leaves us no other option than to be mindful in life. 

 Pushes Our boundaries

We often set boundaries for ourselves in life. Beyond that we couldn't imagine our so-called existence. 

But, suffering blurs our self made boundaries, pushes us to drive beyond our boundaries. It puts us in a worst case scenario and compels us to ride beyond our boundaries. 

It not only widens our horizons, but also proves that we are more than what we think of Ourselves. 

Suffering makes us discover that we are limitless. There are no boundaries to stop us. 

This is how we discover ourselves. By suffering we climb the ladder of self discovery. 

In the end I just want to tell you that… never avoid suffering in life and never take suffering as a burden.

Take it as a speed breaker. Which is here to slow us down, so we can avoid accidents. 

Always trust the process more than results. Because, it is the process that builds us. And suffering is the process to self discovery by life's challenges. 

Without challenges we are nothing but an unpolished stone that is lying on the shore of a river. 

Please comment below if you find this blog anyhow helpful. Your feedback will be appreciated. 

 

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